I love being a scientist, because there are times when controversies erupt in the community, and I can wander in and offer an explanation that just stops discussion cold.  And there are times when I am correct.

Lately, a controversy has erupted involving the Two Wall Gallery, where until last November I was a co-curator. I am saddened for all involved, especially the artists, who have been subjected to undue criticism. It’s always best to look on the bright side, however, and remember that trying times build character. Whatever doesn’t kill you, makes you really sick, but there’s a chance you’ll get better eventually.

A similar thing happened to me years ago when three nudes of mine, all block prints, were removed from a coffee shop in Wallingford that I will refer to as St-rb-ks.

A man from corporate came in and ordered them taken down. I suppose it was to be expected, but I would not have placed them there had they told me beforehand that they didn’t want nudes in their coffee. At the very moment the manager called with the bad news, I was lying in bed waiting for a ride to the emergency room having just broken my kneecap. I actually stopped on the way and removed the naughty figures while hopping around on one leg and wincing in pain. Several customers grabbed their kids and hurried off in horror. Talk about character building.

This brings me to my topics for today: communication and responsibility. It’s my opinion that most of our problems result from either failures to communicate or failures to take responsibility for our own actions, or a combination of the two.

Regarding communication, somebody famous once said that “You cannot make war on a person with whom you’ve just shared a meal.” That is why people like Julius Caesar invited opposition leaders over for peeled grapes: to talk to them first and then to poison them. I’d update this old chestnut to say, “You cannot insult people in an anonymous Internet posting unless you do it using an assumed name.”

One of the ironies of modern life is that as our capacity for communication increases (because of the proliferation of new technology), our effectiveness of communication declines.

At our house, it has gotten so bad that we have to TXT the kids to come to dinner, and this is when they are literally in the next room. They rush into the kitchen, grab their plates off the table (where their mother was hoping they’d sit to share a meal), and run back to their rooms where they send a message to their friends that looks something like this: DUDE DINNR SUX. I H8 TOFU BRGRS. This kind of writing would have killed my eighth-grade English teacher.

Adults can be just as bad. Take, for instance, the online comments that are posted in response to The Beachcomber articles.

Following the posting of the Two Wall story, it was only a matter of minutes before so many comments appeared that they could only be counted using exponents.

A few were thoughtful comments by people giving their real names, but most were posted by personalities cloaked in anonymity with names like BigDog52 or HotPants. Some were thoughtful and sincere, and some were a bit nutty. Several were just plain scary. Even the nuttiest people on Vashon would never say things like this to your face.

This is a failing of the Internet: Anyone can post whatever nonsense they want, thinking they are safe from repercussions.  It’s sort of like working for Fox news.

The rest of us also wander through life not realizing that even our everyday decisions have significant consequences. For instance, when we buy meat, we support an industry that profits from the suffering of animals, but we would never condone that if the animals were under our personal care.

So, with all of this in mind, I’d like to offer three simple rules for living that will change the planet and usher in a much-belated Age of Aquarius:

Rule 1: Whatever you want to eat, you have to kill (this would turn a lot of people into instant vegetarians).

Rule 2: Whatever you kill, you have to eat (wars would cease instantly).

Rule 3: If you are going to write or say anything, be prepared to say it in front of a lot of people who know you personally. No anonymous whining or abuse is allowed (we would all be a lot kinder overnight).

With Rule No. 3 in mind, I encourage all of you to e-mail The Beachcomber and urge them to change the comments feature so that it only allows comments from people who post their real name.  You can tell them BigDog52 sent you. And HotPants says hi.

— Greg Wessel is an artist, geologist and the former curator at The Two Wall Gallery.