It’s easy to feel like you can’t help. Our lives are busy, and volunteering takes a commitment. We hear about problems in the world and become desensitized — unless the story is immediate, that is, unless we feel somehow connected. 

Islanders will have a chance on Friday, May 13, to hear stories of domestic violence up close and intimate, true and raw. Women from on and off Island will perform at the Red Bicycle, singing stories of heroism, telling their tales of bravery and heartbreak, in a one-night show titled “Voices Against Violence: Women Sing Out for the Silent.”

Domestic violence takes all forms, from psychological abuse to physical violence — and both can be painful and humiliating. And what we know is that once a pattern of abusive behavior starts, without intervention it will only escalate. The perpetrators, like survivors, of domestic violence come from all walks of life. Abuse can happen between spouses and partners, adults and children, caregivers and roommates. We as a community have a responsibility to support our neighbors who are in trouble, to create an environment where abusers know that such violence will not be tolerated and where survivors feel safe to come forward. Survivors, who often harbor great shame and guilt, may have no idea how to extract themselves from the situation. 

The DoVE Project, a new program of Vashon Youth & Family Services (VYFS), is working to help survivors know where to turn for services. It is also our goal to begin a community-wide discussion on how to address the issues of domestic abuse. We want you to know that you can help in several different ways.

The first takes no time commitment; it is simply to stand up to abuse when you witness it, provided it is safe to do so (we are not advocating directly confronting abusers in a dangerous situation). But we can ask a neighbor if he or she is all right, we can report violence, and in social situations we can voice our discomfort if we witness abusive behaviors. And we can talk about the issue at meetings and gatherings, making it a part of our social discussions. We can let survivors know that they will not be judged.

Financial contributions are always an extremely important, commitment-free way to lend support. The DoVE Project will need funding if it is to continue. Your giving, no matter how large or small, will make a difference for Vashon in assuring that we have our own advocate to support those who are suffering from domestic violence in the years to come. At a minimum, you can buy a purple bracelet at VYFS or at Books by the Way, a $5 contribution that says, every time you wear it, “Domestic violence is unacceptable.”

And if you have time, The DoVE Project can use hands-on help in a variety of roles. We could use help at our upcoming fundraiser. We need a strong volunteer base to answer calls and support survivors by bringing them food and clothing, helping them travel and finding temporary shelter. We need Spanish-speaking volunteers as well. 

For those who would like to find out more about domestic violence, Books by the Way and the Vashon Public Library will have books and brochures about the subject displayed in the coming weeks. And both the library and the VYFS website have resource guides available. 

We’re also working with the Welcome Vashon Project to show a series of films on women’s issues throughout the summer. The first — a part of the new award-winning Independent Lens series, coming to Vashon through its partnership with the Community Cinema project — is called “Me Facing Life: Cyntoia’s Story.” The film, which will be shown at Ober Park on July 24, is about a 16-year-old who killed a man who had picked her up for sex, powerfully addressing our assumptions about violence. 

Domestic violence is a societal issue, but by paying attention, by talking about it, we can change the way we, as a community, handle this problem. We can help. 

— Tavi Black, a former resource administrator for the Vashon Youth Council, is a fiction writer and the new director of The DoVE Project. 

For more information about The DoVE Project, visit www.vhcn-dfc.org and click on “Subcommittees” then “Domestic Violence.”

“Voices Against Violence” will take place at 8 p.m. Friday, May 13, at the Red Bicycle Bistro. Tickets, for a suggested donation of $20, will be sold at the door. See the story in the Entertainment section for more information.