Social media was abuzz recently about the lawsuit against Vashon Island School District: Some were angered, certain that the suit will harm island schools, while many came forward to share their own stories of bullying or other negative experiences with the district. Whatever you believe, the discussion has shined a harsh light on aspects of our public school district.

Vashon Island School District (VISD) places a high value on maintaining a culture that serves the majority of students who fall in the middle of the proverbial bell curve. That can mean a very good school experience for many students, and indeed many make the trek to Vashon from off-island to join our district. However, that position can also mean a less-than-ideal experience for students on the fringes. If children require an IEP or 504 plan, are exceptional learners or are perceived as “different” in some way — they may not be well-served or feel part of the school community. For these kids and families, it equates to being on the outside looking in — a lonely place to be. Given the values of this community, our schools should be the leader of inclusiveness. We have found that this is not the case.

VISD has a legal obligation to serve all students who attend their schools. In our experience, we have found that many families with ongoing issues try hard — in many cases for years — to work with the district to help their children succeed. We believe VISD spends significant resources placating individual families in isolation rather than investing those same resources on systemic change, or providing proper support for students who long to learn and be a successful member of the school community.

We have found that families are repeatedly told “we just don’t have the resources.” Other small districts, however, establish partnerships with other districts or outside services to fill the gaps they can’t provide. There are many creative common sense approaches that would not sap precious “resources.” Such options require an open mind and willingness to try on the part of VISD.

Imagine the difference between the district projecting an attitude of “how can we work together to improve the situation” vs. “how do we make this go away.” Consider how things would be different if VISD brought together all families who have had problems with bullying, educational issues and other problems to have a constructive joint conversation. Far less time and fewer resources may be needed to achieve a better outcome than handling families in isolation.

Mounting a meaningful challenge to VISD requires an enormous commitment of time, money and personal anguish. It can suck the life out of a family. VISD has a law firm at the ready coaching them. Many families, such as ours, decide to cut their losses and move on. When it feels like no one is listening or no one cares, a spirit of cooperation can quickly become adversarial. VISD loses parents who may have been active volunteers, donors and supportive voters.

We do not personally know the families involved in the suit but do know that it took courage to go forward with this suit. These families likely will pay a heavy price for their action. People they thought were friends may disappear or become distant. Rumors — some untrue — will likely fly. It will be painful.

Challenge yourself to avoid getting caught up in the dollar figures and press releases. Consider that the experience others have had with VISD may be different than yours. Consider that VISD may be technically following the law but not be providing a positive educational experience for all of its students. Don’t write it off as just a lack of resources.

Ask questions. Before decrying the district’s recruitment of off-island students, change the conversation to ask why all island children are not attending our island schools. What effort is made to track students that leave VISD? Why do so many students opt for Running Start, home schooling, Family or StudentLink instead of staying on the main campus? Why do families resort to the considerable expense of private schools or relocating to access public schools off island?

If you have had a positive experience with VISD, please consider reaching out to those who are not reaping the same benefits. You and your children may learn something that could lead to a more inclusive island community for all. Conversely, if VISD were to lead this effort, it would send a strong message to parents, school staff and our community that inclusion and acceptance is the culture we choose.

Finally, don’t be afraid to ask hard questions of school board members or administrators. They are public servants who must address these concerns with reasonable answers in a timely manner.

Everyone on this island should want what is best for each and every school-age resident of Vashon. Isn’t that the common ground we all can agree on?

— Jon and Shannon Flora are Vashon residents and parents of a recent graduate of Seattle’s Ingraham High School.