As a young mother of two, at times I felt like a portable dairy, but I almost always felt judged. I had my first baby in mid-Missouri — Bible Belt country — when I was too young to buy alcohol and I looked younger still. I struggled to trust my instincts as a mother because my own childhood hadn’t provided good examples and the corporal punishment culture of my birthplace didn’t resonate with my gut. I was 20 years old, feeling like an alien in a completely changed body and getting the stink eye everywhere I went for being a “teen mom.” Needless to say, my mental health was not optimal.

All of the research conducted in the last 40 years has told us how important a person’s first three years are to mental development, and that our primary relationships lay the groundwork for mental health throughout our lives. This means that in those early years — when I was feeling judged, lost, not sure who I was in this new role — weren’t very good for my children’s mental health either.

But why should this matter to anyone else?

Have you noticed how many of the people that sleep on the streets or in the woods struggle with mental health problems? Do you know someone who has lost a loved one to depression? Do you know someone who struggles with their mental health? As a child, did you ever wish someone would notice you were struggling? Have you ever wondered what our lives might be like if we had mental health instead of mental illness?

There are ways to prevent mental illness, substance abuse, domestic violence and other dysfunction. The trick is to invest in healthy families. We need to start early.

When I was 20 and feeling lost and judged, I found a support group. I learned that many moms don’t recognize their new bodies after they give birth, many feel judged and inadequate and many moms (and dads) struggle to find their identity after this biggest-of-life changes happens. My support system helped me find a good preschool for my little ones and connected me to resources to learn about parenting and counseling when I needed it. They helped me create a family that nurtured and supported the development of my children, the most precious people in my life.

My kids are teenagers now, and I am proud of how they navigate through a world that is complicated and scary. Marijuana is as accessible as beer, and pornography is as accessible as Facebook. They are working hard to be constructive members of this community and want to have a meaningful, positive impact on the world. We have our struggles; we have to work for our mental health, but we have been blessed with the support we needed when we needed it.

Vashon has a community resource for everyone working to raise healthy children — the PlaySpace. Operated by Vashon Youth & Family Services (VYFS), PlaySpace is a physical place for moms, dads, grandparents and caregivers to come together. The space is full of people who will help everyone find support and is a community committed to building nurturing families and raising thriving children.

Mothers and fathers need this support to do the very important work of attending to the needs of our community’s smallest and most vulnerable community members. Research shows that for every $1 we spend supporting families with young children — providing things like support groups, developmental screenings, parent education, and early learning programs (as the PlaySpace does) — we, as a community, save somewhere between $4 to $17 dollars on prisons, law enforcement, substance abuse and mental health services later ( James J. Heckman, “Schools, Skills and Synapses,” Economic Inquiry (vol. 46 no. 3, July 2008, p. 289-324). This is not just a concern for those of us having babies. This affects us all.

This is why PlaySpace and VYFS will be honoring National Maternal Mental Health Month throughout the month of May. Mothers, and fathers, need our support to raise the people who become our neighbors, our doctors, our farmers and our community. Children need our support to become the healthy adults we all have the potential to be.

— Catherina Willard is manager of VYFS’ Family Education &

Support Services programs.