By Louise Olsen

For The Beachcomber

A theme that has permeated every fiber of my being these past few weeks has been devoted to searching out answers from some of my students, fellow workers and friends as well as myself to some core questions: Is there a person who stands out as someone who has made a difference to you in your life, who has been a positive influence? How have they made a difference? What did they say or do that makes you feel this way? 

In trying to get to the core of these answers, people shared personal stories with me. And I discovered that in the fabric of our personal stories, there are universal, connecting themes. To be listened to by someone who was fully present and authentic made us feel valued, respected, worthy. When we felt a mutual connection, we felt understood, validated. It was usually not just by talking, but by actively doing a specific skill or task together or one we were assigned that helped us gain a sense of our own worth, capabilities and quality of skills. Those who felt insecure, shy, less than, found they gained confidence because a particular adult believed in them. The years separating the two individuals did not seem to matter. It was the connection that mattered.

Siobhan Avolio-Toly, a friend, shared this: “My seventh-grade teacher made me feel smart. She made me believe I could do well in school and do well in life. She made a great impact in my life. I think that is why I became a teacher.” 

David Pfeiffer, an amazingly creative landscape architect on Vashon, said, “My second-grade grammar school teacher was all about creativity and creating. Because of her creative environment, she ignited the spark in me that led me to the creative field that I’m now in.”

Sari Lipitz, another Islander, said she had a mentor who believed this: “If you are willing to work hard, you will be able to do whatever you choose.” It made all the difference for her, she said.

As for me, I have certainly had numerous mentors along the way — my grandmother, my dear, strong friends, my parents, my students and most of all my daughter Timia. They have all contributed to the life I am living. It is hard to know whether I have been or am a mentor to my students or to someone else. I would like to believe I am doing my little bit to help make a difference, but I am not the one who will be able to tell that story. I believe that providing the opportunities for people to explore their hopes and dreams, to know that someone genuinely believes in them and that they have that spark, that essence to make a difference not only to themselves, but to others, is real.

I believe it is important to listen to your intuition, use your intellect and follow your heart.

I also asked this question of the students who come to the Supported Learning Center (SLC) at Vashon High School where I teach. This is a class for high school kids who have some learning challenges. Peer mentors — typically developing students at all grade levels who come into the SLC to help — told me who made a difference in their lives. Here are a few of their answers, in their own words.

Anna

Mr. Floyd made a huge impact in my life. My whole high school experience he has been such a supportive teacher and director. I used to have really, really bad stage fright and was not really planning on doing a whole lot of drama in high school. After the beginning drama showcase freshman year, Mr. Floyd said to me, “Anna, I really hope to see you in Drama 2 and Play Production next year. You are really very good.” It was not a big gesture …, but I pretty much decided to do that. Now I am planning on majoring in theater next year. From just a little comment, not a serious conversation, Mr. Floyd helped me discover what I want to do, not just for then, or now, but possibly for my future.

Michelle

My grandpa influenced my life in a positive way because he was always a motivator to me. If I was ever struggling in school, he would always bring it to himself and share his experiences with examples of how he had to go to night school in college and what he needed to do to overcome obstacles. Sharing his stories, I would always feel better and know that I was not the only one. I do not see him so much now, but I know that I can always go to him, and that means a lot to me. I know it meant a lot to my grandpa to be able to share his stories with me.

Mia

My horseback riding instructor is the one adult who taught me the importance of learning how to stick with tasks that were difficult when I was ready to give up. Riding helped me to stay focused. I have ADD, and she was really good at simplifying things, such as the techniques of riding, by breaking them down so I could understand them. She is younger, and I can talk to her about things besides horses. She is a lot like me, and I feel we understand each other. I can talk to her about anything. I like having an older adult, although not too much older of an adult, to talk to.

Ben

My parents are people who come to mind as the ones who have made a difference to me and my life. They always are there for me when I need to figure out a problem. They give me different ideas and different options I can choose from. They encourage me to do sports, go to camps and do whatever I want to do. If I were to say anything to them, it would be, “I appreciate you and everything you do for me.”

Madeleine

My dad is a big influence in my life right now. My mom stays at work fairly late a lot of the time, so it’s usually my dad and I’m just hanging out. My dad is incredibly into my school work and everything in my life. He even goes online and looks into what colleges I am interested in and learns about them himself because he wants me to be on top of everything when it is time to start applying to colleges. He supports me by coming to performances and gets so into my wrestling matches that he’s literally leaning forward and off of the bleachers screaming.

There are times, of course, when my grades drop, and I’m not in that great of mood, but my dad always says that if I need any help with homework or anything, I can ask him. And even if he can’t help me with my homework, we try to work through it together. There have been some bad times that I’ve gotten myself into in the past, so I’m incredibly thankful that I have a father who cares for me so much, even in the worst of circumstances.

— Louise Olsen is a teacher in the VHS Supported Learning Center.