Do you remember the toils of your middle school years? My memories of “junior high school,” as it was called, were nothing short of disaster. And I say that because I can’t recall any favorable memory.

More was demanded of me academically; my body was developing, and my desire for social acceptance by my peers was at an all-time high. My need for independence from my parents was fierce, but that independence wasn’t apparent in deciding what to wear to school, as I was a victim to the newest ‘tween’ fashion trend. I thought my mother and father were ignorant and was frustrated when they tried to advise me in any way. Sound familiar?

What’s going on with your middle school child? It is possible to have a school experience that can support our burgeoning young adults as they navigate this treacherous time of personal growth. Can they learn about their authentic selves and about their relationship with their community (and the world) as they are learning their basic academic skills? The answer is yes.

Research has shown that the small middle school concept greatly improves student academic achievement. Students are more likely to have positive attitudes toward school subjects, a greater sense of belonging and community and better interpersonal relationships among themselves and with teachers. Due to the more intimate educational environment, teachers can customize the learning activities to meet the needs of individual students. Also, students are encouraged to take more responsibility for their learning. Teachers work with students for all three years of middle school studies, providing a consistent, deeper teacher/student relationship.

The focus of The Harbor School education includes the development of the whole child — social and emotional growth, as well as character and moral development. The school teaches kids the values of community and responsibility, how to advocate for themselves and engage with their teachers, how to develop good peer relationships and how to achieve their personal best.

The school’s “cornerstone values” — respect, personal best, accountability, responsibility, compassion and integrity — are integrated into all facets of school work, including curriculum, travel study, school community, mentoring activities and service learning. Teachers use these values as a way to discuss each student’s ethical development and are aware of the progress of every child.

Indeed, The Harbor School’s cornerstone values play out every day, both in how the students work together and in the school’s academic program. For the last few weeks, for instance, middle school students have been engaged in a series on human rights. They’ve been studying the situation in Darfur, discussing human rights and writing reports on Nobel Peace Prize winners.

Lauretta Hyde, the school’s social studies teacher, explains that she wanted the students to explore how the current situation in Darfur could possibly happen in the 21st century and understand the historical basis for this in the region, dating back to the 1900s. Ultimately, the class decided they couldn’t just sit with this information, that they had to act on what they were learning. They realized that even though they were middle schoolers and lived half-way around the world, they could still do something to help, so they went trick-or-treating for UNICEF, with the money going specifically to the Darfur region.

It’s because of this academic and social richness that I chose to send my daughter to The Harbor School. Dixon is in the lower school, but when her Harbor School middle school friends came trick-or-treating for UNICEF, she knew what they were doing and pulled out her own cash stash to donate a significant chunk of it. She also has an 8th grade “buddy” she looks up to and who is modeling these values.

I wonder how my middle school experience would have been different had I been “seen” for who I was and not for what I “should” become. What if I had been treated with integrity, taught compassionately and held accountable with respect at this age? This environment nurtures grounded self esteem. This is what I want for my child. This is what she needs for all that she’ll be facing in the future — as a young woman, as a woman of color, as a community member and as whatever she becomes. With this foundation her future is full of possibilities.

— Lynann Politte, whose daughter attends The Harbor School, is an activist and

event/media producer.