These days it’s common to openly discuss topics that past generations would have considered rude, such as sex, money, politics and religion. Death on the other hand, particularly one’s own, often remains a conversational taboo for many, though it’s probably one of the most important discussions to be had with those closest to us.

In this state, some people are taking that final topical frontier out of the humidor with death cafes and advanced directives. Some also are taking action with Compassion & Choices, the organization now working with residents in Washington, Vermont and Oregon who choose physician assisted suicide (PAS) when they are diagnosed with fewer than six months to live and no reprieve in sight. Former Washington Governor Booth Gardner led the voter initiative that legalized PAS in this state in 2008, as he faced his own demise from Parkinson’s disease.

Only a small number of people in Washington have taken advantage of the law since its passage. One of them, islander Greg Smith, followed through on his choice on July 27, peacefully surrounded by loved ones. Smith was a long-time advocate of death with dignity and, in an effort to enlighten others, he recorded a conversation with his friend, Lin Noah, on a Voice of Vashon episode of Island Crossroads about two weeks before his final going away party.

Smith was candid in telling the story of his battle with lung cancer, which returned “with a vengeance” two years ago. In May of this year, his doctors told him there was nothing more they could do and that he had two to six months to live. Smith said his decision to take his own life had germinated well before that — at his initial diagnosis.

“I’d seen friends and family members leave this mortal coil with the disease,” he explained, “and realized that was not the end I wanted for myself.”

To offer a chance for family and friends to say goodbye, Smith organized a party for the night before he was to drink his final cocktail.

To assure that key friends and family could attend, “I had to schedule my suicide around other people’s vacations,” he said laughing. He added that he chose a date just three months after his final diagnosis because he didn’t want his sons to go through the final stages of lung cancer with him.

Smith’s sons, ages 31 and 28, spent considerable time working with him to accept his early demise – Smith was only 61 – and respect his wishes for a peaceful passage. Smith called his choice an opportunity to “stand up with dignity, face cancer and embrace my sons one last time,” rather than dwindle from life in small and excruciating increments.

Snubbing his nose at cancer, Smith said he chose PAS to take control of his life away from the disease and end it on his own terms. Smith had written on a national PAS blog for some time, urging people in other states to have the freedom to choose. One reader took his impassioned diary to the American Medical Association’s (AMA) national convention. The follow-up report was that the AMA’s ethics committee reviewed Smith’s diary with fresh eyes, generating hope that the association might reconsider their opposition to PAS.

To those who would wonder if he might change his mind, Smith said he didn’t want to continue “playing roulette” with the end of his life and that he was ready to say goodbye. He added that with the awareness of death’s imminence, he felt he had used his time well, deepening important relationships.

Some would say doctors have been behind the curve in the move toward choices at the end of life. Naturopath Brad Lichtenstein leads so-called death cafes in Seattle, where people gather over coffee to address the inevitable, honestly and in a safe environment. He has stated that while most physicians eschew heroic measures at the end of their own lives in favor of dying quietly at home, they often implement every available life-prolonging tool for their patients.

“For a physician, when a patient dies, they’ve failed,” he explained.

Statistics show that more money is spent in the last months of life on extra measures that often will not prolong life at all. But, in the absence of a living will or advance directives, doctors will do everything possible to keep a patient technically alive.

Lichtenstein’s death cafes, the growth in the number of palliative care physicians and the entry of hospice care into the mainstream all herald changes in the end-of-life field. Soon, islanders will have access to a program to assist in the process of identifying preferences and creating advance directives for end of life before it is imminent. Called Honoring Choices, it is based on a model that originated in Lacrosse, Wisconsin, and will be offered by nurse practitioner Wendy Noble, and Carol Spangler, who has a graduate degree in public health. The two will offer facilitation services to families free of charge.

Noble and Spangler will host a presentation on Thursday by Bernard “Bud” Hammes, Ph.D., the medical ethicist who developed and directs the Wisconsin program (Respecting Choices). Hammes, an international leader in the field of end of life issues and advance care planning, has been featured on NPR, ABC’s Good Morning America, CBS Sunday Morning, NBC Rock Center and, most recently, on the PBS program, “Caring for Mom and Dad.”

He will appear with, among others, representatives from Honoring Choices Pacific Northwest, the Snohomish County Health Leadership Coalition and the Whatcom Alliance for Health Advancement, two organizations that have successfully implemented the program in their communities.

The presentation, according to Noble and Spangler, will provide specifics on what advance care planning means, why it’s important and what’s happening in the state to help people develop advance care plans.

What the two say they hope to do on Vashon is two-tiered. Their first step is to train others in the process of facilitating Honoring Choices.

“With a trained team,” said Noble, “we’ll begin small group conversations about advance directives and provide appropriate documents and instructions for completing and filing those directives.”

And when invited, they’ll meet with individuals and their families to help clarify their wishes for end of life health care.

As Spangler noted, “Determining and sharing end of life choices is a process. It’s a difficult discussion to start with one’s family.”

She and Noble say they are committed to helping Island residents start those discussions and share their decisions.

Professionals in the “death trade,” as it’s often referred to, agree that discussions of death and dying are really about living. With the implementation of this program, it appears that Vashon will soon be a place where people are ready to lead both the exploration and the conversation.

The Honoring Choices presentation will take place at 7 p.m. Thursday, in the Vashon High School theater.

Voice of Vashon’s recorded interview with Smith is available on-demand at the VoV website voiceofvashon.org/user-content/island-crossroads-dying-with-dignity.